Big Brother

Big Brother 7- By Bunsen

Big Brother

Twisted Big Brother 2006

Is it just me or is Davina permanently pregnant?? My god that poor woman has been through the mill in recent years but she seems to be banging them out like a factory line.

Anyway, the waiting is finally over. Here we are with the next installment of what promises to be a poor excuse for a set of wannabees. Apparently last year's housemates are going to look very passive compared to this lot.

Last year was dubbed "Evil Big Brother" and this year has already been described as "Twisted Big Brother". It has turned into a right media frenzy with each tabloid claiming they know everything about the housemates when in fact they are making it all up 'in the public interest'.

You can guarantee it will not be boring and when the dust settles the housemates are sure to show their true colours.

I must admit I don't like the first few weeks, as there are too many people and most of the housemate tend to try not to rock the boat early on. The extreme characters don't give a flying ffffffact about who they offend and are booted off fairly early on.

So this year there are 14 housemates initially, the duration has been expanded to 13 weeks and 38 cameras. The house has been revamped to be more claustrophobic, encouraging frivolity and most of all encouraging the bitching between housemates.

So lets take a look at the freak show shall we:

Bonnie - young care worker with an annoying habit of saying "Do you get me?" Quite frankly no I don't luv.
Perfect Pete - A right nutter with tourettes syndrome. Like Lee Evans on drugs.
George - One of the two posh housemates and a distant relative to the monarchy. I'm not sure how he is going to seal with this lot.
Shahbaz - Gay, Scottish and sounds like Mrs Doubtfire, already annoying me.
Leah - Claims she's 35 (really??). Had £35k of plastic surgery and doesn't seem to have done much good. Wouldn't like to meet her in a dark alley
Glyn - Lifeguard.....welsh.......looked a right prat in his entrance
Richard - Another gay, butch and could be a member of the village people
Grace - The other posh totty, likes her designer labels but can be a bit moody
Imogen - Heelllllllllooooooo!! A former Miss Wales, she is the looker of the bunch and should keep the male voters interested
Mikey - Scouser, vain and one for the ladies
Dawn - Apparently has no friends and very bossy. The only people she likes are Mother Theresa, Ghandi and the legend that is Bob Geldoff (bit of a long shot to get them in the same room)
Lisa - A Chinese Manc, everything is "mint" with her, guaranteed to rub people up the wrong way
Sezer - London stockbroker, bit of a geezer and looking for love
Nikki - Straight out of footballers wives, a real man-eater and desperate for a boyfriend. Looks ok until she opens her mouth.

The first week is a time to take stock of what we are dealing with here. Its not a time make rash decisions. Before parting with Bunsen’s finest sterling we need to work out what they are all about.

One thing is for sure expect the unexpected!

I'll be back with some tips in a few days.